Don't Sweat the Small (Wedding) Stuff

wedding planning help

I sat at a small table in the middle of a busy coffee shop. Conversations buzzed around me, but all I could do was stare at the screen. How did I get here? I mean, they’re flowers, but all I wanted to do was weep over them. And not the sweet, happy tears. The ugly, why-is-this-so-freaking-overwhelming tears. We were getting married in only a few weeks and I couldn’t land on a final color for my bouquet. I felt tempted to believe I had no personality, creative bone, or original thought in my body. Our wedding was going to be hideous and I would regret my design decisions forever. (I only get this dramatic when I’m emotional…)

I didn’t realize it at the time, and it would take me years to see it, but I had made a terrible and yet common mistake. I had made the wedding details into something they were never supposed to be. I let them rule the day and dictate the terms. 

In light of eternity, it really didn’t matter whether I chose coral or blush rose petals. What did matter, however, was what I did with those details. Would I get overwhelmed and stressed? Or see it as an opportunity to bless my guests and glorify God? 

Catherine Parks and Linda Strode explain it perfectly in their book, “Christ-Centered Wedding,” 

“The chairs, the dishes, the food, the centerpieces—in light of eternity these little decisions just do not matter. What does matter is having seats for your guests and feeding them as you celebrate together. The decisions are not the end in and of themselves. Rather, they are the means to an end. And even accomplishing the means can be an act of worship as you faithfully complete the tasks God has given you to do.”

An anemone or poppies in your bouquet do not matter. 

Sequin or mismatched bridesmaid dresses do not matter. 

Buttercream or chocolate cake do not matter. 

Designing a beautiful spot to commit yourself to another person in order to show Christ’s love for us matters.

Celebrating your friends and family with fun gifts, kind words, and delicious food because they have sacrificed so much of their lives for you matters. 

Creating an aesthetically pleasing wedding that celebrates and communes with God in His love for beauty matters.

The details of your wedding may feel tedious and frivolous in this stage. You may even feel guilty for investing in them. But, those details actually matter to God. He cares about them because your wedding is an opportunity to serve others and make much of Him. 

So, the next time you’re tempted to weep in front of your computer because wedding details have got you down, remember eternity. That’s the goal of everything anyway.


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Mikaela Mathews